Arty Farty #2: My First Penis Pictorial! Art Is Such A Phallus-y Sometimes
October 29th, 2006by Zoe Brock
MELBOURNE, AU-
Yesterday I went to the opening of an exhibition at a small art gallery.
I love exhibitions. Especially when they’re small and quirky.
The invitation to the opening was nondescript and black, and gave no indication of what the art was going to be like, or even what medium it was going to presented in. All we could discern from such an oblique invite were the artists’ names, ksubi and Kane, and the title of the new collection.
The title of the show?
“Sunglasses For Dickheads.”
We thought we were prepared.
We weren’t.
Being unprepared leaves room for surprises.
I love surprises.
This is what we were confronted with when we walked in the door.
Rocking cocks.
And I don’t mean the rooster variety.
There were no chickens there last night.
Nup. No chickens at all.
This piece is entitled “Gary Nudeman.”
Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is what I call art.
I love art.
Did you know that in ancient Egyptian the word for ‘art’ was the same as the word for ‘penis’?
No? That’s because I made it up. But let’s just suspend all that rotten truth and belief stuff and pretend for a second that it’s a fact.
It’s more fun that way.
Would you like to meet Ziggy Hardthrust?
I thought so.
My friend Jostie suspects there might be a secondary penis hiding inside that rather elongated scrotum of Ziggy’s. None of us were in much of a hurry to find out.
I love scrotums.
I love art.
I thought the following photograph bore more than a passing resemblance to my friend Dean.
Dean disagreed. He thought this next one was a better likeness.
I love Dean.
HANG ON!!
Is that….? IT IS! It’s Lyall Shovett!!!
At this point I began to wonder if I was hanging out with The Muppet Show Band.
Or perhaps The Village People….
But instead it was Pu Tang.
I love the Pu Tang Clan.
After much ponderous discussion and close-up examination I decided my favorite photograph was the one styled for and named after Ms Siouxsie Bangshee.
Here it is.
Now THAT is a great big piece of ART.
Did I mention I love art?
How did that earring stay on? Or should I say “nutring”? Or “cockring”? Or what???
I love earrings and nutrings and cockrings and what.
After a beer and a glass of wine the obvious kind of boy shenanigans ensued.
I love boys.
Boys will be boys.
Apparently they can’t help it.
The little rockstars between their legs have something to do with it.
Sometimes the rockstars between their legs are bigger than others.
Then they’re called cockstars.
I love rockstars.
I love cockstars too.
Rockstars, cockstars and all things naughty and deranged make me happy.
Sometimes it doesn’t take much to make me happy.
Sometimes it takes a bit more.
Maybe it’s a technique thing.
Brush strokes, lighting… talent. You know.
Like I said…
I love art.
If you exhibit, I will come.
xx
Tags: Art, cock, cockring, dean, funny, Humor, Penis, Photography, zoe brock
fucking zoe!
for now that’s all i have.
give me time.
ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
r
tick tick dick tick tick.
I’M WAITING!!!!!??????
So my daughter, who is fourteen, walks up while I’m looking at this particular story and says: “JESUS MOM, DIDN’T YOU TAKE HEALTH CLASS?” I nearly pissed myself. I then informed her that balls don’t really look like that, and that these models must have been cold or something, and to that she ran away to her room and slammed her door.
ooops. ha haaaa. that’ll teach her to look over your shoulder!!!
here you go again… i get it zoe, it’s a compe’tit’ion to see if you can pull in as many ‘cum’ments as(s) the last story, except you cunt really call it a fair one, because in these erotic ‘dick’ensian tales you have NONE.
how cum we don’t get art like that over here?
oh right: ‘BUSH’.
heh. touché! that’ll teach you to not vote for someone and still get him elected. you poor buggers need to start a revolution. seriously. I’ll bring my pea-shooter, promise.
Rock stars, cock stars, stock cars, jock bars, and so on…
Zoe, my dear, you’ve done it again.
Much fun and foreskins…
Deab is right… the second one bears way more of a resemblance…
Ahhhh, my friend the irrepressable penis. I love him and high and low. At attention or just rolling about.
I love this exhibit. I do. It inspires me to conduct a tribute. Excuse me…
Miiiike…ohhhh Miiiiiiiiike…
zoe:
okay, i just woke up. last night i had some beers in me (plus TWO shots of wild turkey) and my fingers weren’t in the typing mood. anyhow, this is HIGH art. right up there with all the greats. FUCKING DICKS!–and one very long ball bag. i love this shit. scatological musings! great, uh, piece. and of course, your boys…boys will be boys and god bless them for it, eh? oh, god. too funny. this is a masterPIECE. and what about the ant-eater? beautiful. he’s either european or chicano, no doubt. okay, that’s it.
master caster,
reno
Ok I followed that link on quirky, and took that worlds hardest Japan test… only missed one.
Well they do say art is pain.
thats odd…
you are a weird one zoe
oh, and tell your friend in the last picture, you are supposed to stick your arm inside of your shirt, down your pants, so they cant even see your arm
gosh…
“Your Test Results
Score = 100% ”
hellz yeah, got a perfect on the difficutl japanese quiz
gotta love guessing
Dear Lord Zoe.
Glad you love scrotums…
like Ziggy…
someone has to.
YAY!!! you’re right. Someone has to. And I’m her. xoxoxox
Wonderfully written, Zoe. I mean, the story and pictures were great, but I really loved the format and use of repetitions.
Oh, cocks. What can’t they be dressed up as?
Yeah, I woulda lost it the second I walked in. Before I even had a drink. I’m incredibly immature…….although I am a fan of the penis. Peni in drag is good times on another level.
Gawd, I love yo ass.
yo ass is loved and appreciated and admired in return. ahhh. ass. that’ll be another story. x
All your friends are dicks. At least according to this blog.
I, however, go by Richard for short.