BOULDER, CO- 

I love Halloween.

Cheap plastic costumes, sweaty make-up, canker sores on the morning after…or were those my grad school years?

When I was a kid, I was taught that Halloween was bad.  There is not a child in all of Christendom who does not understand that Halloween is the devil’s holiday.  And yet, we can’t seem to help ourselves. What kid doesn’t get off on dressing up beyond recognition so they can stuff that orange plastic pumpkin with enough candy to snuff a small, primitive tribe of diabetics off the map?  Is there anything more fun than crinkling down the street high on milk duds in a pack of underage hoodlums?  What other holiday can compete?  Sure, Christmas promises loot and yule log comfort – but does it really compare to the rush of smashing somebody’s lawn zoo to bits as swift and concise punishment for not turning on one’s porch light?

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