SALEM, MA-
“I don’t know how to break this to you, but I’m baking the penis cake.”
My wife shook her head, defeated. She knew that morning that there was nothing she could do to stop me. So instead, she made me promise that if the cake wasn’t well-received at the party, I would make a public announcement saying that she had not approved of it.
I agreed.
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -
It’s part of the core American mythology that the bigger the balls, the bigger the man.
Balls, as in grit, guts, willingness to push too hard and move too fast, and to defy decorum (decorum is, needless to say, for pussies) in order to achieve the aim. It’s how America was founded. How the West was won. It’s how every movie in which a badass conquers the badguys ends. Why does the hero win?
He’s got big balls.
Let me just say it: We are Americans, and we are totally obsessed by the concept of balls.
PENSACOLA, FL -
Just got back from seeing Representative John Lewis speak at the opening of the Florida Campaign for Change headquarters in Pensacola.
John Lewis, as you no doubt already know, is a former successful community organizer perhaps most famous for the terrific beating he took at the hands of Alabama’s finest on March 7, 1965 as a peaceful participant of the first Selma to Montgomery march.
