Comments on: Squiggle Wiggle All The Way Home

By: Frek

Frek — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 22:07:15 +0000

Hi Lenore, I doubt you take orders well, but you must read this other thread about Missy and her experiences with the Squiggle Wiggle.

http://www.piratesporch.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=1871

By: Gary

Gary — Sun, 15 Mar 2009 11:10:56 +0000

Hi. I liked your story and want to discuss this fetish of yours via chat or email. Please, contact me. Garyh89@yahoo.com

By: Lenore

Lenore — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:51:25 +0000

it’s because you are my soul brother.

By: Marky Sandbag

Marky Sandbag — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 06:14:42 +0000

“Did I share my very first vibrator with my brother? I’ll never know.”

It’s incredible how much we have in common, Lenore.

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:43:59 +0000

Since Mugabe is slaughtering elephants in Zimbabwe to feed his army, perhaps when I am there I can get you your own set of elephant balls. I will try my best, short of catching cholera or being beheaded.
Love, MOM

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 22:42:18 +0000

YOU LIE! YOU LOVED YOUR STOCKINGS!
(I’ve had just about enough of this!)

By: Lenore

Lenore — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 04:45:18 +0000

that was so nice of your parents! i always got weird shit that i didn’t want in my stocking. then again, i never really want presents. i just want big things that are too expensive to ask for, like cars and houses and laptops and monies.

then again, i think the squiggle-wiggle writer was a stocking stuffer….

elephant skin ball-sacks. weird.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 04:43:38 +0000

haha, you fucked up the italics. LOSER!

jk, you’re my hero. <3

By: John

John — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 00:08:56 +0000

I’m not sure it was the fact that the people were naked that so disgusted my mother, it was the fact that they were all twenty years older than her with pendulous boobs and elephant skin ball-sacks. I still remember the scene oh-so-clearly. When I was 13 I started getting a Playboy in the Christmas stocking, along with a box of condoms (oh, my parents always did have too much confidence in me), so I assume the simple fact of the nudity couldn’t have been what made my mom cancel the subscription. Could be wrong.

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 23:03:16 +0000

Plenty of people want attention. Most of the people I know, actually, and it’s always refreshing when you come across someone who both wants it and deserves it.

You hear that, Lenore? You’re awesome.

I’d be hard pressed to find something in my house that I haven’t put up to my balls at some point in time, but sadly, the whole vibration thing is more of a distraction thing for us. Pity. Though you have opened up my imagination to the perverted possibilities of other childhood toys. I had never considered it before, but it seems obvious in hindsight that when you tickle Elmo, Elmo tickles you back.

–jason

By: Lenore

Lenore — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:40:23 +0000

yes, but Listi wants a nerf vagina.

it’s a childhood nostalgia thing, i imagine. fleshlight simply doesn’t bring him back to the good old days.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:38:52 +0000

leave it to god and anyone who googles me from here on out.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:37:38 +0000

excellent!

By: Lenore

Lenore — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:36:58 +0000

i used to get so turned on by that show “dream on.” i can’t remember which movie channel it was on, but it always had a raunchy sex scene.

but my parents didn’t care if we watched naked people. they were perverts, too.

By: John

John — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 02:48:45 +0000

Mr. Listi, they do have a mass marketed artificial vagina. It’s called the fleshlight.

I claim innocence in my knowledge, however! My good friend owns and operates an “adult store and dance club” and was the first to inform me of this thing. But since, I have heard it mentioned many times.

By: John

John — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 02:43:24 +0000

Writing and talking about childhood masturbatory experiences is always a good thing. (Is masturbatory a word?)
I actually just related the story tonight how my family got HBO when I was a kid. We had had it for about a week, until my mom walked into the living room late one night to find me watching Real Sex 9 and immediately cancelled the subscription. I was too young to masturbate, but I guess the image of her young son staring all googly-eyed at a bunch of old nudists on the television so scarred my mother that she could never risk ever having to stumble upon something so terrible again.
Old nudists destroyed an opportunity for me to watch shitty movies on a nightly basis for the duration of my childhood. Almost seems unfair.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:03:02 +0000

i wouldn’t use the toothbrush for both, so technically it’s not a two in one deal. just a super cheap vibrator.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 22:02:04 +0000

it was pretty much the best part of thanksgiving. no arguments here.

By: rachel

rachel — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 19:25:11 +0000

you were such a savvy little girl.
luckily, they make a vast array of handcrafted tools that vibrate just for the ladies.
however, i like how you get a 2 in 1 deal out of pens and toothbrushes.

yesterday chris and i stood in front of the massagers at walgreens.
you know for your “sore back.” they’re not fooling anyone!

By: Kate

Kate — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 21:59:02 +0000

1. my cats never eat their own vomit. i am satisfied with that.

2. this was my favorite part of any thanksgiving ever.

3. i only just found out you posted a story. no one tells me anything.

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:33:01 +0000

Jesus, Psi, SOMEBODY has to judge her!

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 18:31:37 +0000

STOP THAT! There is NOTHING genetic involved here. Lenore is a mutant. Plain and simple.

By: Psi

Psi — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 11:01:12 +0000

i guess i was a late bloomer, or something…i didn’t really get into the whole touchy-feely thing until i was 17. Or rather…that’s when the first time it led to anything actually, you know, worth it happened.

It didn’t involve a pen, though. Still doesn’t.

Not that i’m judging.

By: Geni

Geni — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 07:20:50 +0000

I must admit…I used my squiggle pen as a vibrator as well. Whew, feels good to get that off my chest

By: Autumn

Autumn — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 03:39:56 +0000

I still have My Little Ponies. But, none of them vibrate.

That’s what My Pet Dolphin is for.

http://evesgarden.com/shop/product_info.php?products_id=514

By: Lenore

Lenore — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:21:59 +0000

shame shame.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:21:34 +0000

Listi always has the best ideas.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:20:57 +0000

my little ponies were my favorites. i gave up my pacifier for them. and that’s serious business.

By: Lenore

Lenore — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 02:20:12 +0000

it’s biology, sara. not creativity.

By: Cayt

Cayt — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 23:30:43 +0000

My brother had a vibrating pen, but I just liked to write my name with it. I think he had it at an age where I was too young to even be aware of the masturbation possibilities.