Horrible, Fascinating, Beautiful, Disgusting Things I Can’t Show You because my Husband Took the Camera
July 25th, 2008by Kaytie M. Lee
SAN DIEGO, CA-
The Nervous Breakdown’s new car smell is almost overpowering—hold on a minute while I wait for the nausea to pass.
Ahem.
Well.
San Diego has gone crazy this week, and it’s not just because of the ComiCon wreaking havoc on traffic and the greater Gaslamp area. For whatever reason there has been a plethora of oddities, an embarrassment of riches in absurdities, sights that, when I try to explain them, are just too out there.
Ordinarily, I’d photograph them for proof. Alas, Michael has the camera in South Carolina.
Here’s what you’re missing:
The fire across the street at the Brazilian barbecue restaurant we lovingly refer to as “All You Can Meat.” Smoke, fire engines, firemen on the rooftop directly opposite my loft, and all I could do was think, Damn, I wish I had the camera.
The fireworks over the bay at night.
The older couple who push their life-sized marionette children around in wheelchairs. Seriously, they are straight out of a psychological thriller from France. The dolls with their nutcracker jaws are in a state of advanced decay, jaundiced painted skin, their hair mussed and their clothing dirty. The woman wears smears of fuchsia lipstick while the man sports a handlebar moustache. And the girl marionette has a cast on one arm. Dear God, why?
A line stretching the length of a city block at Richard Walker’s Pancake House, home of the only breakfast worth eating in downtown San Diego…except when the line to get seated is longer than the length of time it takes to consume three pancakes, two slices of bacon, one scrambled egg, and five cups of coffee.
The legion of Heath Ledger-inspired joker costumed individuals headed up Fifth Avenue at dusk. Almost as scary as the marionettes in wheelchairs, but not quite.
The guy with no legs who pushes his wheelchair backwards across the street for some reason I’m thinking has to do with balance or a contrary perspective, not necessarily a bad thing.
The moment my nine pound dog scared a six-foot tall construction worker with her big bark.
All the cars making illegal left-hand turns off Broadway, getting tickets by the cops who just sit there, waiting. Six cars in three light cycles, in fact.
And my mad ukulele skills. Can’t record them for your amusement. I picked up the ukulele for the first time at the beginning of July and have been learning many songs ever since, including: Olivia Newton John’s “Hopelessly Devoted to You,” Boston’s “More Than a Feeling,” 4 Non-Blonde’s “What’s Going On,” and Edith Piaf’s “La Vie En Rose.” In French, of course.
All of these fascinatingly creepy, deliciously horrific things happening right inside or outside my door, and I can’t show you.
I can only tell.
It’s time to purchase my own camera.
Glad to see you all here!
Welcome back Kaytie. Thanks for sharing the oddities of downtown San Diego with us. I live in San Diego, but feel quite removed from that scene. I’m frightened by the image you painted of marionette children in wheelchairs. I’m sad for you that Richard Walker’s is the best breakfast in downtown. We ate there once. My wife had the crepes, which were horrible, and I had the German pancake. When the waitress responded with “I love it when people order that” I had to wonder what I was getting myself into. It was a bit ridiculous.
Good luck with advancing your mad ukulele skills.
Thanks for your pity, John.
Words trump pictures.
Apparently those of us not in Cali, are missing something.
Wow. I’ve never been to the west coast, but back here on the east coast, and down south, we have a pretty good restaurant called “Gladys and Ron’s Chicken and Waffles”. I think they have a Rosco’s Chicken and Waffles out west, or up in New York, but not sure. If you’re even in this area, or in Atlanta, you should check out Gladys and Ron’s. Really good.
And those sights did seem a bit creepy, especially the Heath Ledger-inspired Jokers. (*Sad sigh*). It sounds a bit… something.
Well, I’m glad to see you blogging.
JMB - Oh, I bet if you went into your nearest city center you’d see a lot of the same things. Maybe not so many costumed individuals. Saturday night is the costume ball, and you can bet there’ll be a lot more capes and boots and fabricated body armor than today.
Irys! Thanks for jumping over. I’ve been to a chicken and waffle place in LA - can’t think of the name of it right now. Having chicken AND a waffle took a bit of getting used to, but man, what a breakfast! I’ll definitely let you know when I’m in your greater area for the restaurant recommendations.
And they said the era of the freak show was dead…
I’d lose the camera - you’re doing just fine without it.
Josie - I think the freak show regenerates. Scary, huh?
Hey, Kaytie!
Great to see you posting on 2.0.
Cheers.
It was a mad sight. Don’t forget all the freaky steam punk people. They dressed up in their fantasy turn-of-the-century freak costumes so they could feel right at home alongside all the other spandex gods. And they all wished you had your camera so they could pose…
Oh, I haven’t forgotten them. They’re the ones who walk five abreast on the sidewalk, forcing singles like myself into the street to get around them. They walk so slowly in those fierce clunky boots.
I can’t wait for your ukulele CD to be released!
There IS going to be a CD, isn’t there?
What horrible accident might befall a little marionette girl? That’s what I want to know!
Can you prosecute someone for abusing a fake child?
An army of “Heath Ledger” jokers. Very foreboding indeed.
Thanks for this view of San Diego. I’ve never been, and foolishly thought it was all sunshine and pop music. Glad to hear it’s got a darker, interesting shadowy side to it.
Bex - A Kaytie Ukulele CD? Hm…
Autumn - I’m suspecting Munchausen Syndrome in the case of the marionette girl. And yeah, there’s a dark underside to San Diego. You might have to look closely, but it’s there. Thanks for dropping by!
Wow… I think you should take a video clip of your ukelele songs! that is fascinating!
as sounds the rest of the sights too!
thanks for sharing… i do enjoy your blogs
a.d.d. chick from myspace,
katie
Now, I’ve only been playing the ukulele for a month. Ya’ll might want to reconsider a video of that cacophony.
Glad to see you here, Katie!
oh, i just love san diego! sometimes…
I feel the same way, Irenie!
Kaytie, I love your new picture. At least you had a camera for that!
Welcome Back Kaytie! It sounds like your summer has busy and filled with amusments..
La Vie En Rose.” In French, on the Uke! Thats Wonderful!
The older couple with the marionettes in wheelchairs, that would be something worth seeing and a little scary too! Hope you get another camera and a photo. It seems like they should be in a movie..