I’m Totally Rooting for Blago at This Point
January 27th, 2009by Greg Boose
CHICAGO, IL -
I hate to admit it: At this point I’m totally rooting for Rod Blagojevich. I want him to beat all charges. I want him to somehow stay in office until his term is up, and then I want him to get reelected by a questionable 225 votes in 2010. And then I want him to put on a too-small red Karate gi, jump aboard the shimmering two-horned unicorn he’s got tied out back, and I want him to hunt down the Illinois Attorney General in an endless field of wheat so that we can continue this wacky palm-to-forehead story of American politics at its worst.
Perhaps I’m just bored, or perhaps it’s because my name is still on the waiting list for a converter box coupon for my perfectly fine 1996 television and I’m about to lose “free” television, but I think this Rod Blagojevich scandal has been a really fun ride to be on. Yes, it was shameful and embarrassing in the beginning, but now it’s like a Mike Tyson-meets-Tom Sizemore trainwreck that gets better uglier every week. Before my television goes to snow, I’d like to get in as much of this as possible.
This week the governor is going on a media blitz to remind everyone that he’s innocent until proven guilty, and that he’s kind of like Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi. All rolled into one.
I’m not exactly proud of myself for cheering for someone up for impeachment, especially when it looks like he deserves it. I’m not proud of my hand wringing, smirks or laughter when I see that his official title remains under him on the news. The entertainment value alone is my guilty pleasure, but it could be that I’m also rooting for him because of the sheer size of his cajones that he’s showing through all this, and because he’s my neighbor and I enjoy watching him run awkwardly and freely down our street.
And I know that rooting for Blago is like rooting for Gargamel to find Smurf Village. Or like hoping that your 10-year-old son discovers a cache of methamphetamine surrounded by Bic lighters and bottle rockets. I’m not proud of my Blago fandom; I’m a prisoner of it.
There’s just something about rooting for the underdog, right? Even if that underdog is my corrupt governor with an ego the size of the national deficit.
Tags: gargamel, Governor, Impeachment, Mike Tyson, Rod Blagojevich, Smurfs
“…like rooting for Gargamel to find Smurf Village.”
Why did people vote for him if he’s turned out so evil. His hairdo alone is enough for me to never have voted for the guy. He’s like one of those old glam rockers afraid he was losing his hair and so got a funky wig left over in a box from the 1980s.
I’m not saying my hair looks any cooler. Not sure I would vote for me either.
Just sayin…
He has a weird appeal, that Blago. I find myself cheering for him, too—just like I found myself cheering for Richard Nixon in Frost/Nixon. There’s something majestic about an ego that unhinged.
Scumdog Million-Hairs.
This is how they’ve been referring to Mr. Blago on The Daily Show.
He’s a dick.
I’m watching my mega girl-crush’s interview with him right now.
I have zero tolerance. No one is above the law. Mandela? Gandhi? Dr. King? Blago? He wouldn’t have used coarse language if he knew someone was listening? And THAT’S why he’s being impeached???
Are you FUCKING KIDDING me? Puh-leeze.
I can’t comment anymore. I might explode.
Okay, this post really made me laugh. (And I quote: “And then I want him to put on a too-small red Karate gi, jump aboard the shimmering two-horned unicorn he’s got tied out back”…)
And while I can’t say I’m “rooting” for him, I can’t help but get the smiles every time he’s on the screen and I have to stay a moment or five to see what jive he’s talking at that particular moment. It’s wild to think he believes every thing he’s saying. I envy narcissistic sociopaths sometimes… they have such good self-esteem. Anyway, your piece was very fun and I linked to the Huff Post piece also and enjoyed learning that Blago is a running enthusiast and friendly neighbor.
Better go, I heard he might be making an appearance with Leno’s band tonight and I need to set my Tivo. (Good luck with your digital situation, by the way.)
Oh Greg, I thought I was alone here. I really think his whole drama is comic relief which I personally find refreshing. No one expects politicians, especially in Chicago for heaven’s sake, to be honest. Blagojevich transcends any dishonesty that has come before. It’s hysterical. I love every minute.
“I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinski.”
Blago is crackin me up. I think he actually believes his innocence. Like Clinton believing that a blowjob wasn’t covered under the term “sexual relations”. You always have to admire a man who can repeatedly lie to the public on camera. It takes a special kind of ego to pull that off.
This was absolutely wonderful. It was, I shall say, total Greg.
And that one line of yours…
“Or like hoping that your 10-year-old son discovers a cache of methamphetamine surrounded by Bic lighters and bottle rockets…”
That, too, was total Greg.
He does believe he is innocent. Combine his inordinate narcissism with his upbringing in the bowels of the Chicago machine, and he has actually no reference point from which to self examine. But boy the everready bunnyovich is sure fun to watch.
Greeee- eeeg!
What? Are your fingers too frozen from living in Chicago to type?
Ha. It is definitely frozen here.
Sometimes I get a little shy commenting on my own posts. Makes me nervous. Makes me breakdown. Makes me the.
Huh?
One of my sons and his wife live in Chicago, so I know it’s unbearable. The thing is, if you can ride a horse bare-chested in Lake Michigan in this weather, why can’t you answer your comments? You can hold a chopstick in your teeth, if your fingers are too frozen. It’ll take longer, but think how happy you’ll make your readers!
Dammit. He lost.
But he’ll be back. Oh, yes, he’ll be back.
Just not in politics.
Maybe in some kind of wrestling capacity.