Comments on: On the Persistence of Jealousy

By: The Nervous Breakdown

The Nervous Breakdown — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 23:13:03 +0000

[...] I’ve written about here on TNB previously, in August my 89-year-old grandmother fell and broke her hip. She had surgery, during which her hip [...]

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:15:33 +0000

Thanks, Pam. But I’m afraid it might be hard for me to tell your story, since I’ll be right there on the porch of the nursing home with you, next rocking chair over–and probably accusing you of stealing my decrepit imaginary boyfriend!

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:12:50 +0000

Irene said something very similar in the comments on my next post, about just humoring people with dementia whenever possible, and I agree.

But ooh, I love your observation about feeling most alive when feeling something you don’t completely recognize. That’s a keeper. I’m pretty sure I do, too, but I have to think about it for a while to make sure it’s really true, and not just something I wish were true about myself.

By: Pam

Pam — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 06:37:30 +0000

Please tell my story when I’m on my way out or gone. You manage to make everything sound so… amusing, as life should be. I love how you convey Nanny’s ongoing hots for Dom even when she is pissed at him. Never a dull moment in their lives… it must be exhausting (for you)!

By: The Nervous Breakdown

The Nervous Breakdown — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:27:53 +0000

[...] I’ve written about here on TNB previously, in August my 89-year-old grandmother fell and broke her hip. She had surgery, during which her hip [...]

By: Adam Junkroski

Adam Junkroski — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 15:23:55 +0000

At around age 100, my great grandfather once took to asking my girlfriend at the time and me when we’d be getting married. After repeatedly pointing out that we were only 16 and still in high school, we finally gave up and said, “Next Wednesday, Jaja, I hope you’ll be there.”

It seemed to placate him. This reminds me a little of that. One of those moments in life when comedy and tragedy slap each other around a little. But I have to admit, I feel most alive when I’m feeling something I don’t completely recognize.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 22:26:48 +0000

I know. Poor man. Hopefully we’ll be getting her home soon and her imagination, and the accusations, will settle down a bit.

By: Simon Smithson

Simon Smithson — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 21:42:00 +0000

Heh. Rock lobster.

Still. Poor Dom.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:45:13 +0000

Yeah, he’s definitely anxious and confused. I hope things will improve when she gets to move back home.

By: Mary

Mary — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:20:48 +0000

Oh poor thing. Your grandfather must be heartbroken. I think that will be the worst part of growing old.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 13:28:10 +0000

Cool! Thanks!

By: Erika Rae

Erika Rae — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 12:50:36 +0000

OK - even funnier than I first thought. Hilarious crossover.

I linked you to Face Stories today:

http://www.facenews.org/on-the-persistence-of-jealousy/

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:38:41 +0000

Thanks, Marni. And yeah, exactly.

By: Marni Grossman

Marni Grossman — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 06:12:31 +0000

You’ve got to love that she’s crazy enough about your grandfather- at this late stage in the game- that she still gets jealous.

” ‘It’s okay. He can have a girlfriend. In fact, he can have three girlfriends.’
All of a sudden my grandfather is Hugh Hefner.”

Made my day.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:10:10 +0000

Thanks, Rich. Hey, maybe it will be you imaginarily flopping around to “Rock Lobster.”

By: Rich Ferguson

Rich Ferguson — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:02:35 +0000

Dawn:

This was both touching and hilarious. Especially that one passage:

“When I’m 90 and in the nursing home and my imaginary husband (it’ll have to be the imaginary one, Kelly having assured me he’ll be checking out long before then) is imaginarily stepping out on me, he’ll be flopping around on the ground to “Rock Lobster.”

That was quite memorable, my dear. So memorable that perhaps I’ll remember that paragraph when I’m 90.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 02:29:07 +0000

I wouldn’t have said my Nan was interested in her husband’s Charleston anymore, either, but there you have it.

Thanks, Megan. My aunt suggested a book, too. I’ve been collecting little vignettes … we’ll see.

By: Megan Power

Megan Power — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:30:41 +0000

If he can still get it up, my imaginary husband can step out on me all he likes when we’re 90. I doubt I’ll be too interested in his Rock Lobster or his Gulf Shrimp. I’ll just want someone to visit me in the hospital.

This was great, Dawn. So easy to see how it could be a novel, from a granddaughter’s narrative voice.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 18:21:31 +0000

Heh. Thanks, Erika. Did you follow the dance links, by any chance? I expected them to be so different, but then I realized the Charleston and the Rock Lobster are more similar than I thought.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:17:43 +0000

Erm … what you were looking at, I mean.

By: Erika Rae

Erika Rae — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:11:02 +0000

Oh, sweet Grandma! I like that she tries to appear worldly to you. She’s not got dementia, she’s just tragically hip.

Rock lobster. Hilarious.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:20:22 +0000

Wow, Robin. Thank you very much.

By: Robin Antalek

Robin Antalek — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 12:14:53 +0000

Dawn, This beautifully captures how our lives come full circle, the poignancy of moments captured when people who have cared for us are now vulnerable and looking to us for guidance. Really lovely writing.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:00:06 +0000

Thanks, Brock. I love that photo, too. It was probably taken around the time I was born! Certainly within a year of that.

And yes, I agree completely about the survival skills. I’m reminded of that over and over. (Someday maybe I’ll have the nerve to write about the advice she’s giving me these days, lol. Basically it amounts to ‘have more fun’ and ‘take more risks’ … cliches, I know, but fairly compelling coming from one’s seemingly so vulnerable grandmother.)

By: Brock

Brock — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 10:11:40 +0000

Oh, i LOVE their photo! You capture that “spark” in everything you write about her. She is clearly blessed with love and a lively spirit, and, of course, you, paying such close and loving attention.

My dad had hip replacement at age 78, after which he went birdwatching in Fiji. In the nursing home, recovering post-surgery, he befriended another resident, whom he recognized as the owner of a Chicago wine store he and my mother frequented some 40 years prior. He said the man was happy to be recognized and they had some nice conversations.

A happy story, right?? I keep thinking I just need to trust that if someone has survived 80 or 90 years, they might have a few survival skills we softies don’t know about….

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:32:36 +0000

I’m trying, Sir, I’m trying.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:32:09 +0000

Thanks, Jim! Yeah, it’s keeping a spark in her eye that’s missing from a lot of those other people at the nursing home, you know?

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:31:10 +0000

Thank you, Ducky. Best of luck with your situation also.

By: Dawn Corrigan

Dawn Corrigan — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:30:20 +0000

Gosh, Irene. Thanks. I think maybe your view was a bit different too, though.

By: Irene Zion

Irene Zion — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:55:42 +0000

It’s just so close to home, you know?

But I do love how you see it.
Healthy.
Better than I did.