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	<title>The Nervous Breakdown &#187; Simon Smithson</title>
	<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com</link>
	<description>It's going to be okay.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:30:16 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>On Change</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
A friend of mine doesn&#8217;t meet new people easily. It&#8217;s possible he may be suffering from a touch of Asperger&#8217;s (if there is such a thing as a ‘touch&#8217; of Asperger&#8217;s). In familiar situations, he likes to dominate - by putdowns, by attack, by withholding attention. But as soon as a random, unknown [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/11/on-change/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>It&#8217;s The Strangest Thing</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I&#8217;m of two minds about posting this. Mainly because I&#8217;m worried that when my hat-wearing, bullet-riddled corpse is found on the wrong side of the border with a simultaneous death-grip on both an empty bottle of Jose Cuervo and a silver .45, the eventual court proceedings will employ this post and previous ones from [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/11/its-the-strangest-thing/</link>
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	<item>
		<title>Decompressing from TNB - LA</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I&#8217;d been warned about Los Angeles. They (the same ‘they&#8217; in ‘That&#8217;s what they say&#8217;) warned me that it&#8217;s a city where people smile at your face and stab you in the back; that the whole town only exists to exploit people of youth, beauty, and talent; that everyone there is obsessed with making [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/10/decompressing-from-tnb-la/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Leaving (for) Los Angeles</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I stopped into Los Angeles recently; I wanted to get a new guitar strap and there was also this minor literary thing that I figured I could go to while I was there. It was a good trip, and one that I will cheerfully blog about at some length. There are some stories that [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/09/leaving-for-los-angeles/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The Dumbest Thing I have Ever Said</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
Not the dumbest thing I have ever thought, mind you. That honour goes to a moment when I was walking down Castro Street in San Francisco, glanced across the street, and saw a burger joint called Sliders. And into my head came the thought Huh. I wonder if that&#8217;s a whole place themed after [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/08/the-dumbest-thing-i-have-ever-said/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sex Talk</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
Or
A DIMENSION NOT ONLY OF SIGHT AND SOUND, BUT OF MIND-
So. Of late, certain Scullys of my acquaintance have been pointing out that perhaps &#8216;Simon Smithson Territory&#8217;, or &#8216;Simon Smithson Syndrome&#8217;, as it has become known here on The Nervous Breakdown, is not quite the synchronicity-laden Bermuda Triangle I&#8217;ve been selling it as. They [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/08/sex-talk/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Strange Things are Afoot at the Circle K</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
It started with a lottery ticket.
I was in a newsagency, buying a pack of gum. I had five bucks in my wallet that I had assigned no particular purpose to, the Division One prize had been jackpotting for weeks, eventually reaching a total of AU$90,000,000 (or a penny in American dollars), and one person [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/08/strange-things-are-afoot-at-the-circle-k/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Sweet Liberty!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I will forever be indebted to my friend Luke for many things. Among them, his habit of using the exclamation ‘Sweet Liberty!&#8217; where other people would happily drop the F-bomb. What started out as irony on his part has become, to me, one of the most endearing traits of his conversational character. I also [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/07/sweet-liberty/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>A Thousand Words: Going Out West</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I landed in San Francisco at the end of November, 2008. Home - Australia, a country I&#8217;d left for the first time - was thousands of miles away, along with my family, my friends, and every place I&#8217;d ever known. The closest friend I knew was in New York; although, luckily for me, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/07/a-thousand-words-going-out-west/</link>
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		<title>The Best Policy</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
Let me be perfectly honest - I have, in the past, told lies. It&#8217;s a habit I try to avoid, but usually when I lie, it&#8217;s a lie so ridiculous that I assume no one else could possibly believe it, and will see it for what it is. I have, at one point [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/07/the-best-policy/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>I Hate You for Being Funnier Than I Am</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ 
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
Some day, I like to think to myself, I will write Important Books. They won&#8217;t start revolutions, highlight the problems of the free market, or end global warming, but they will highlight the frailties and follies of the human condition. Yes, people will say after reading them, yes, this is exactly what this [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/06/i-hate-you-for-being-funnier-than-me/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Playing it Straight</title>
		<description><![CDATA[ MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
Yes, OK. I admit it. I, in my foolhardy youth, was one of the cast of the Australian version of Playing It Straight. If you&#8217;re unfamiliar with the show, the basic concept is this: it&#8217;s The Bachelorette, with the added twist that half the dozen male suitors are gay, and half are straight. [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/06/playing-it-straight/</link>
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		<title>My Suspicions are Aroused by a Lack of Difficulty</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I like TV. I really do. Sure, a lot of the time it&#8217;s nothing more than popcorn for the eyes, but it&#8217;s such delicious popcorn. Lately, the staple ingredient of my viewing diet has been Entourage, and catching back up with Vince, E, Turtle, Drama, and Vince has been a lot of fun. Also, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/06/my-suspicions-are-aroused-by-a-lack-of-difficulty/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The Letters I Wrote that did not Convince Janeane Garofalo to Have Sex with Me.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
Very recently, I published a blog here on TNB about an attempt that I made to sleep with Janeane Garofalo. This attempt was made in the form of certain letters, written by yours truly, in the pages of a Melbourne street press magazine while Ms. Garofalo was in town. Now overwhelming public demand (and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/05/the-letters-i-wrote-that-did-not-convince-janeane-garofalo-to-have-sex-with-me/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Let Me Tell You About the Time I Didn&#8217;t have Sex with Janeane Garofalo.</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I&#8217;m not exactly sure when I first learned who Janeane Garofalo was. It may well have been when I went to see The Truth About Cats and Dogs on an ill-advised high school date. I&#8217;ve heard reports that Janeane Garofalo hates that movie. For the record, so do I. How my date at the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/05/let-me-tell-you-about-the-time-i-didnt-have-sex-with-janeane-garofalo/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>A Little Fear</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I was told it was Spanish.  I was told it was terrifying. All I needed to hear was that there were zombies involved and I was going to sign up come hell or high water. One brain-eating confirmation later and I was on my friend&#8217;s couch with two amigos, watching [REC], cheering every time [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/04/a-little-fear/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>The Grass Always Makes You Stronger on the Other Side</title>
		<description><![CDATA[MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA-
I had just finished telling a friend about a project I had recently launched, only to nervously watch it struggle to gain altitude and airspeed, wobble, and come shakily back down to earth. He commiserated, made all the right sympathetic noises, finished the last of his coffee, and said &#8216;Well, you know, it&#8217;s better [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/ssmithson/2009/03/the-grass-always-makes-you-stronger-on-the-other-side/</link>
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