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	<title>The Nervous Breakdown &#187; Steve Dupont</title>
	<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com</link>
	<description>It's going to be okay.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Mon, 05 Jul 2010 18:30:16 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>Anyone Want 500 Pounds of Gruel? (Pickup Only)</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
Right. So I&#8217;m enjoying a leisurely breakfast the other morning, tapping away at a new column for Gonzo Politico over a bowl of New and Improved Old World Corn Gruel, when this god-awful beeping sound nearly caused me to dump steaming hot gruel in my lap (And, you don&#8217;t have to be Einstein [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2008/06/anyone-want-500-pounds-of-gruel-pickup-only/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Goodbye Cruel World</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
And hello GRUEL WORLD!!!
That&#8217;s right, call me a sell out, but I&#8217;ve once again succumbed to the siren song of corporate monies. First it was the Jumex Corporation, along with the Obtuse Angle Corporation, and now ladies and gentlemen, I&#8217;m pleased to announce my unquestioning servitude to:
Have you tried this stuff yet? Talk [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2008/05/goodbye-cruel-world/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Hold Onto Your Hat - Thus Begins the Backlog Bombardment, Bitches</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -

This is kinda how I&#8217;ve felt for a while now, regarding a whole slew &#8212; yes, one entire slew! &#8212; of unfinished and otherwise aborted TNB posts.

Again, no bones about it, this is all about me and my perpetual quest for mental tidiness.
I&#8217;m selfish like that. A proverbial selfish shellfish with nary a [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2008/01/hold-onto-your-hat-thus-begins-the-backlog-bombardment-bitches/</link>
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		<title>The Backlog Bombardment is About to Begin, But First &#8230;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
This is something I&#8217;ve been wanting to talk about for a long time. Before the Steve Dupont Corporation&#8217;s Backlog Dept. was even created. Heck, before the Steve Dupont Corporation was even created.
What you&#8217;re looking at below is an instruction manual page for my Olympus OM-G 35 mm camera. I received this camera as [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2008/01/the-backlog-bombardment-is-about-to-begin-but-first/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>Happy New Year! Hooray! We&#8217;re one year closer to the end!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
First, let me make one thing clear. I don&#8217;t purport to know at what time THE END will come, or in what manner &#8212; for either myself or the human race. For your sake, let&#8217;s hope they come in this order &#8230;


Okay, so I used to make all sorts of resolutions about doing [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2008/01/happy-new-year-hooray-were-one-year-closer-to-the-end/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Couple of Ways Dawson Could Start This Thing Here</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -

1) Dawson: &#8220;Like baby nipples? On the bottles? Show me nipple soaking and washing!&#8221;
[ERRRRNT!]
2) Dawson: &#8220;Nut soaking and nut butter &#8230; really? Nut soaking and nut butter? Okay. Survey says!&#8221;
[EEEERNT!]
3) Dawson: &#8220;This hot pink mama says Cocker. Give her Cocker!&#8221;
[PING!]

As the production director, etc., this is where you&#8217;d want to stop running film [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/10/couple-of-ways-dawson-could-start-this-thing-here/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>You know, Brad Listi, TNB Supreme Overlord and Author Extraordinare, really has it all figured out</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -

He says the key to getting readers is being reliable. Giving them what they want and expect from TNB, on a regular basis, consistently and without fail.
Therein lies the problem. I just can&#8217;t do that I don&#8217;t think.
I&#8217;m very reliable in a lot of ways, but maintaining a blog has never been one [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/10/you-know-brad-listi-tnb-supreme-overlord-and-author-extraordinare-really-has-it-all-figured-out/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>I am a hostage of my own free time &#8212; please don&#8217;t help me!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -

See, I haven&#8217;t had much &#8220;free time&#8221; lately, which is why my TNB participation dropped to zero a few months back &#8212; just to nothing, overnight, and lasting many a fortnight.
Well, I finished this HUGE GIGANTIC project I was working on &#8212; The Penske File, basically.
Better yet, I finished the project last Friday, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/10/i-am-a-hostage-of-my-own-free-time-please-dont-help-me/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Swiped From the McSweeney’s Headlines! Inadvertently Dirty Joe Cocker-Related Phrases, Which Got Classic Rock DJs Fired</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -

Cocker! Right? Cocker! You with me?
Felt like I needed a quick-hitter to get me back in the realm of The Communicato, as opposed to The Incommunicato. Or, if you prefer, The Saddle of the Talking Horse (rough translation from Latin).

Right! Then without further ado, the list of inadvertent &#8230; what was it? Joe [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/10/swiped-from-the-mcsweeney%e2%80%99s-headlines-inadvertently-dirty-joe-cocker-related-phrases-which-got-classic-rock-djs-fired/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>An Extraordinary Thing Just Happened, Which I Feel Compelled to Describe for You</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
So I go to the farmer’s market this morning and get a big ‘ole basket of Chilton County, Alabama peaches. If you can find a sweeter, juicier more pleasurable peach to eat, well, congratulations.
That’s one peach of a peach you’ve got there.


So just now I decide to eat a peach. I choose the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/07/an-extraordinary-thing-just-happened-which-i-feel-compelled-to-describe-for-you/</link>
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		<title>How Scurvy Ate Half My Brain: And I lived to tell about it</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
The &#8220;lived to tell about it&#8221; part is kind of obvious, I guess. Just so you know it’s not being told, dare I say, from …
BEYOND THE GRAVE!
(Howling Wolf sound effect)
Not that Howling – oh, nevermind. Just forget it.
I say that a lot:
&#8220;Just forget it.&#8221;
&#8220;Nevermind.&#8221;
&#8220;It doesn’t make any difference.&#8221;
This is often a red [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/06/how-scurvy-ate-half-my-brain-and-i-lived-to-tell-about-it/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>So this is a blog, right?</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
I’m going to blog about some stuff. Dudes!
Like, current events and stuff.
Seriously, I’m going to –

&#8216;blog&#8221; about current &#8220;news items&#8221; of the day and whatnot, and deliver my analysis to YOU, the NervousBreakdown dotcom reader, within just a day or two. Three days max (business days).
Don’t make me remind you about Rome, and [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/06/so-this-is-a-blog-right/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Izzen Tit Nice When &#8230;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -

You Can Get Some Stuff Out of the Blasted Notebook and Off to the Safe Confines of a Hong Kong SuperServer? Izzen Tit!?
Good band name maybe in Eastern Europe. Or Kansas.
Izzen Tit! With an exclamation mark. &#8220;We ARE Izzen Tit!&#8221; the lead singer would trumpet.
Yeah, just Eastern Europe and Kansas, pretty much &#8230;

Now, [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/06/izzen-tit-nice-when/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>What if you had a guy called Bugman &#8230;</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -
And this guy, Bugman (BUG-min) &#8230; let&#8217;s say, Morris Bugman, this guy knows from the time he&#8217;s only two or three years old that he wants to be an exterminator. When he grows older and fulfills that desire - that destiny, as he sees it - I imagine Bugman might look something like [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/06/what-if-you-had-a-guy-called-bugman/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>You See, Today is The Last Day</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL -


I took yesterday off. Thursday. For business purposes, actually, as I had two meetings with potential freelance clients. A bank in the morning and a personal training facility in the afternoon. Two very different
meetings.

One in a corporate boardroom, well appointed with oak and brass. And then one in which I sat, as one [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/05/you-see-today-is-the-last-day/</link>
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	<item>
		<title>I Work for Everyone and Yet I Work For No One: Two Days Until Corporate Termination</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL-

A bunch of, like three, four, dudes just swept through
the office with a giant cart.

“Computers!” they shouted. “Shut ‘em down!”
“Bullshit,” I said. To myself.
Then I politely, but curtly, told them my computer was not to be taken anywhere on their death cart. At least not for another two days.
One of the dudes then asked [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/04/i-work-for-everyone-and-yet-i-work-for-no-one-two-days-until-corporate-termination/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>I Wish to Dear God I Could Get This Racist Thing Out of my Head, but It is Kind of Funny</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL-

Emphasis on IS.
As in, I&#8217;m surprised that I find it so funny.
And, yes, I do hate myself for it.
Which is clearly why I can&#8217;t get it out of my head, hating myself being a sort of comfort zone, for those times when I&#8217;m sick of loving myself.
My head - not so clear, by the [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/03/i-wish-to-dear-god-i-could-get-this-racist-thing-out-of-my-head-but-it-is-kind-of-funny/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>My Corporation is Devolving into a Bad Talk Show, but at Least I Won Me a Sweet-Ass Lectern</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL-

You know what? Forget that &#8220;won me&#8221; stuff - I WILLED me a lectern, people!
Can you feel it?
The Power of my Will?
You need to declare power of attorney for a living will to be enforced, by the way. A little free legal advice for ya. From someone who doesn&#8217;t even play a lawyer on [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/03/my-corporation-is-devolving-into-a-bad-talk-show-but-at-least-i-won-me-a-sweet-ass-lectern/</link>
			</item>
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		<title>I Know My Shapes, Oh Yes I Do!  I Know My Shapes and You Can, Too!</title>
		<description><![CDATA[BIRMINGHAM, AL-

Circle. Square. Rectangle. Triangle. Oval.
I drew these myself in less than five minutes, total!
And here&#8217;s the kicker &#8212; I&#8217;m only 33 years old!
Now, you&#8217;re probably thinking one of a couple things:
1) This guy is more full of shit than a Port-o-Let at the Nebraska State Fair (Nebraskans shit a lot)
2) Richy Rich over here [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://archives.thenervousbreakdown.com/sdupont/2007/03/i-know-my-shapes-oh-yes-i-do-i-know-my-shapes-and-you-can-too/</link>
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