by Steve Dupont
BIRMINGHAM, AL -
Right. So I’m enjoying a leisurely breakfast the other morning, tapping away at a new column for Gonzo Politico over a bowl of New and Improved Old World Corn Gruel, when this god-awful beeping sound nearly caused me to dump steaming hot gruel in my lap (And, you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out that: Gruel + Groin = Unbridled Obscenity).
You know the beeping sound I’m talking about. The one that indicates the backward locomotion of a freight carrying vehicle. Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
Upon further investigation, I was actually rather excited to discover the vehicle in question backing into my own driveway. I couldn’t recall having purchased any oversized consumer goods lately, so I thought maybe a large and very generous gift was aboard this vessel. A pinball machine? A trampoline? A Nordic Track home fitness system? A dune buggy? A giant chocolate Jesus sculpture?