LAS VEGAS, NV-

2009.

It’s around this time of the year that we reflect on the year that was. We look back at the months, the days - mind pushed in reverse, remembering things, conversations, people.

We do this. Every year like clockwork. Looking over our shoulder then looking straight. One foot inside the door, one foot out. It’s part of the deal.

Adam Duritz of the Counting Crows put his end-of-the-year-thoughts to song in “A Long December.” A beautiful tune loaded with nostalgia and hope. (more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV -

I’ve never paid for a hooker.

Never thought of it, really. But I’ve known a few people that have. I even worked with a waitress that once worked at a brothel. I think it was in Sparks.

“Every man should have a hooker at least once,” she told me.

Maybe she was right. Maybe a man should have a hooker at least once. What did I know? I’ve heard stories. Never heard a bad one. All delivered with a smile.

A friend stationed at Camp Pendleton. Got shellacked and skipped over to Mexico for a little nookie. Crazy dude in town from El Paso. Too drunk to make the long haul to the Bunny Ranch but hit a brothel in Pahrump. 

“Got me some strange,” he said.

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LAS VEGAS, NV -

The NFL season is winding down. Which is a little sad. Not entirely sad because there’s still a lot of football to be played. But still. Week 13 is a goner. All bets are settled.

The payoffs are in the distance.

For some teams.

The beginning of the season is always full of talk. All the experts on TV and radio yapping it up, telling us how the season is going to play out.

“I see the Patriots running the table,” some of them said. (more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV - 

“Sing that shit, girl.”

- Rasputia, Norbit

After the cable man (I think his name was Sergio or David) was done hooking up my TV he went through the million buttons on the remote control.

“Check it out, bro,” he said, displaying the remote control in front of me. “It’s real simple.”

Bro.

Dude.

Man. (more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV -

Always Mystified

I’ve never counted the times I’ve moved. But it’s been a lot. In my years living in Vegas I think I’ve moved four or five times.

I moved from L.A to Victorville when I was a kid. While in L.A I moved a handful of times. In Victorville I moved a few times. Victorville to Vegas. Vegas to Charlotte. Charlotte back to Vegas.

And now I’ve moved again. Still in Vegas. I just found a new place. Well, technically, I don’t live in Vegas anymore. I live in Henderson (Green Valley area), a city that butts up against Vegas. According to Wikipedia, Jonathan Ogden lives in Henderson. 

Which might be true. I saw him a few months back at a boxing match. (more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV -

I was a kid when my Uncle Jim died. He was young. Too young, in fact. I think he was thirty-three years old. The man drank himself to death.

He was the one who started calling me Reno (the rest of my family called me Rene). I loved Jim. And when he died, it was shocking to me. I couldn’t believe he was gone forever.

I was in the house when my aunt called the hospital to check in on him and they told her that he’d passed.

“He’s gone!” she yelled. “He’s gone!”

I could still hear her voice to this day. I don’t think anyone could forget the sound of loss. (more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV -

Over a hearty Mexican dinner, I decided to wake up early and throw in some NFL picks. I don’t normally gamble. This was probably my fourth parley card I’ve ever played. But I figured, what the hell. After all, it was the first Sunday of the NFL 2008-2009 season.

Fall. Football.

Life was pleasant and reasonable once again.

The only thing disturbing me was the Presidential run for the White House. It was a circus. It was ugly and I was in the middle of it neck-deep.

Obama.

John.

The young buck.

Gramps. (more…)

LAS VEGAS -

I was in the 9th grade when I first heard Yngwie Malmsteen play guitar. A friend had Alcatrazz’s album No Parole From Rock ‘n’ Roll - a mother of an album. We both just started playing guitar. Greenhorns. Rookies.

We sucked.

“Dude, listen to this. This is that fuckin’ Yngwie guy I was telling you about.”

The needle hit the record. (more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV -

Aeroplane

The story of Daedalus and Icarus is essentially a story of a son not listening to the advice of his father. Father says don’t do it, son does it. In this case, Daedalus, the father, tells his son (who’s outfitted with wings his father made) not to fly too close to the sun or too close to the sea. Doing either will damage the wings and send him into the sea to meet his death. 

Icarus goes for the former, melts his wings (the feathers were held together by wax) and falls to the sea and dies. I first heard of this story in the 8th grade. I bought Iron Maiden’s Piece of Mind album and on there was this song called “Flight of Icarus.”

Booming tune with galloping guitars, a thumping bass line, and Bruce Dickinson wailing about an old Greek tale. 

(more…)

LAS VEGAS, NV-

The Girls of Bromidrosis

The first night I arrived in Vegas I ate fried-chicken and drank beer. Under normal circumstances this is not a good combination. Hell, it doesn’t even sound good. Fried-chicken and beer. But these weren’t normal circumstances. I had just arrived home after living over three years in the South where nothing - and hardly anyone - made sense to me.

So, I wasn’t looking for harmony. I was looking to gorge myself and get drunk.

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METAL, NC-

Up until I was around twenty-five I went to concerts. I saw some great shows. The US Festival (I was in the 8th grade, hustling stickers and pins for KMET). Queensryche on their epic Operation: Mindcrime tour.

Soundgarden in the early nineties. Ice Cube on a sunny and very stony Orange County day. Satchel. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Tori Amos. Steve Vai in Hollywood which was probably the best singular performance I ever witnessed.

I saw Korn in Vegas with fifty other people at the Huntridge Theater. No one knew who they were except for us transplanted Californians. I got drunk with them, helped load up their equipment in their U-Haul with the Deftones.

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THE QUEEN CITY, NC-

“Beneath the clothes we find a man. And beneath the man we find his nucleus.”

-Nacho, Nacho Libre

(more…)

THE QUEEN CITY, NC-

My neighbors like to party. They just moved in around a month ago. I saw their house being built. My dog used to shit where their house now stands. So did a few other dogs. There was nothing but woods. Tons of trees. Hawks and croaking frogs. Deer and raccoon tracks pressed in the dirt.

(more…)

The Queen City, NC-

I like Christmas. I like to see Christmas lights wrapped around houses. I like the cool air of winter. I like the good vibes people throw around, the smiles. It’s a childhood thing, I guess. A memory thing.

(more…)

THE QUEEN CITY, NC-

I was talking with my friend Chris the other day and he told me that his father woke him up at 1:30 in the morning because their dog, a giant German Shepherd named Maverick, was in the hallway playing grab ass and keeping him awake.

“So, why did he wake you up?” I asked. “I don’t get it. Is the dog yours or is it a family dog?”

(more…)

The Queen City, NC-

Love.

The J. Geils Band says it stinks. (more…)

THE QUEEN CITY, NC-

I work days.

My wife works nights.

(more…)

THE QUEEN CITY, NC-

I’ve worked many jobs. I’ve pushed a broom through a supermarket. I’ve sold shoes. I’ve poured booze to old men and young men with the shakes. I was an English teacher.

But I’ve never been a porn star like Nick Manning.

(more…)

CHARLOTTE, NC-

Life has been a bittersweet ride for Duane “Dog” Chapman. A life full of good ol’ boy drama. Failed marriages. Batches of kids. Jail. God-preaching and bounty hunting.

(more…)

CHARLOTTE, NC-

My sister is pregnant. Way. I saw some pictures of her the other day. She’s huge. Big belly, wide hips. All wrapped up in pregnant clothes.

(more…)