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Martyn Smith Archive

Martyn Smith

Panic on the Streets of London, Panic on the Streets of Banking, I Wonder to Myself

April 1st, 2009
by Martyn Smith


The streets of London are wild with passion today, but very few are sure why.

Some are protesting Peter Crouch’s recent renewal into the injury-hampered national football team, while others have doctored their work time-sheets to be publicly abrasive towards an automobile dubbed ‘The Beast’.

‘The Beast’ isn’t a practical or charming vehicle.  Amongst other details that the right people aren’t willing to discuss, the Cadillac-grade limousine features armour 8 inches thick, Kevlar-reinforced tyres, tear-gas cannons and a fluorescent halo lighting system in the headliner to ward away national depression.  Two rear seats (reserved especially for the The Beast’s owner) reportedly feature individual recline and folding desks.