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Michael A. FitzGerald Archive

Michael A. FitzGerald

Mr. Featherpants

April 17th, 2007
by Michael A. FitzGerald


The other day a rancher friend told me of a country girl/city girl moment she recently had with her gay rooster, Mr. Featherpants. The bird is impractical on a farm where the rule of thumb is: don’t feed or water anything you’re not going to eat or sleep with. Still the bird had character and dignity. It strutted the packed-dirt yard, weaving through rusting tractor parts and sun-bleached saltlicks with an air of detached sophistication. It had gorgeous plumage, like it was riding a small boat of colorful tissues. But Mr.

Featherpants refused the hens. As a result, you could eat the eggs, but they weren’t ever going to become chicks, which eventually is a problem. (There is also the important and heated debate about whether sterile eggs are less tasty than fertilized eggs.)