Thursday, April 27, 2017
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Gets all up in your grill pretty frequently

Litsa Dremousis Archive

Litsa Dremousis

Suggestions, Verities, and Such:

October 5th, 2009
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

Historians assuredly will view this epoch and, among other things, conclude we fussed and churned way too much over pubic hair.

We elected a president, not Santa Claus. We’re not going to get everything we want in the first three fourths of the first year of the first term.

While I know otherwise, I prefer to think ships float by magic: the water displacement theory strikes me as kind of sketchy.

Ladies, we’re nearly 52% of the population. Perhaps more of us could act accordingly?

Also, might a tiny but attention-grabbing portion of us stop writing to and marrying serial killers?

And fellas, might a tiny but attention-grabbing portion of you stop serial killing?

Is anything more resplendent than a lilac tree in spring?

Nutella, while medicinal, is extremely potent and should be handled as such: the combination of spoon and jar seems to hurl one into a time lapse and next thing you know, your evening is shot to hell and your shirt looks like an eight year-old’s.

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Litsa Dremousis

The Shameless; an Inflatable Fake Phallus; Bouncer Thugs: a Look Back at Hot for Teacher Night (Yes, That One)

October 2nd, 2009
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

The Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, I covered Hot for Teacher Night at a craptastic sports bar in Seattle’s historic Pioneer Square district for sexual anthropologist, Susie Bright (Esquire, Rolling Stone, Salon), of whom I’ve long been an admirer.

Said night featured the infamous Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau and its announcement received nationwide attention. Bright and I are Facebook friends and she asked if any of her Seattle compadres would be willing to attend and report for her blog; I tossed my hat in the ring and was one of two she chose.

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Litsa Dremousis

Helen Falangus 1926-1974

September 22nd, 2009
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

In short stories, everyone’s grandmother smells like rosewater or lilies or, if she’s the antagonist, bears a faint whiff of venal decay.

I’ve had allergies since I was a little kid, so I don’t remember what Yiayia smelled like. I remember her voice, though, warm and encouraging and conspiratorial in the best sense, as if she and I were our own party of two, off to do something wildly fun and cultured but still ladylike, as she was of that generation.

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Litsa Dremousis

Bleacher Friction, Lefty Thuggery, a Hobbit: Notes from the 36th District Democratic Convention

April 9th, 2008
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

Two months ago at the Washington State Democratic Caucus, I was elected an Obama delegate to the 36th District Democratic Convention. As my cousin, Ellie, said recently, “Litz, I’d be more surprised if you weren’t totally supporting Obama.” As is often true with those who love you most, she meant it as both a compliment and a dig. Which is fine, as she treated me to a very nice steak last night.

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Litsa Dremousis

Fifty Questions for God

November 12th, 2007
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

070621god_bruce

1.) Hey, do you have a second?

2.) Why do some people have everything while others have nothing?

3.) Will there always be war?

4.) Why is there disease?

5.) Mental illness?

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Litsa Dremousis

Knowing One’s Place on the Food Chain and Very Old as Opposed to Recently Dead Bodies

November 5th, 2007
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

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1) I watched an interview with Senator Joe Biden earlier today and while I generally like him, I couldn’t help but notice he imbues each of his words with quasi-weighty melodramatic undertones. It’s like he’s Blake Carrington’s heretofore undiscovered brother, Buck, and he’s returned to Denver to claim his rightful place in the clan. You can almost hear him intoning, “Damn it, Alexis, don’t talk to me like I’m a ranch hand!” He insisted during the course of the tete a tete that he won’t accept the Vice President slot, but that, of course, is crap because almost no one besides his mom and eight other people views him as presidential and being one lodged piece of Beef Wellington away from the top spot is better than playing craps with Harry Reid and Chris Dodd for the rest of one’s life.

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Litsa Dremousis

Halloween, 1993

October 30th, 2007
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

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“I think I’m going to have a seizure!” Ken yelled.

He was inside of me and I laughed. We’d known each other since college and our decade-long flirtation had combusted at a Halloween party earlier that night. We were having sex for the fourth time in six hours and I assumed he was kidding.

When he began violently jerking up and down, I realized this wasn’t mere flattery. Suppressing an urge to freak out, I rolled him onto his back, reached for the phone and called 911.

“911. What’s your emergency?” the dispatcher asked.

“My friend’s having a seizure,” I responded, simultaneously moving a pillow between Ken’s head and the wall.

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Litsa Dremousis

“I’m Not Going to be Happy Until Every Human Being on the Planet has Read Something I’ve Written

October 28th, 2007
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

Alexie_s

Two years ago I interviewed Sherman Alexie for the second time. The interview was going to be a centerpiece of a theme issue for a magazine that I had written for a number of times before. The editors decided to scrap said theme and the interview hung in limbo for nine months before the managing editor killed it.

I’ve interviewed dozens of individuals from Wanda Sykes to Ron Jeremy and Alexie remains among my favorites, both because his art impacts my life and because he is boundlessly intelligent. He sends my mom the sweetest thank you notes when she sends him baklava, plus, he is the only person who’s ever had the balls to write her and say, “Could you please send more?”

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Litsa Dremousis

Words I Never Thought I’d Write

August 20th, 2007
by Litsa Dremousis

SEATTLE, WA-

81_nancyreaganheadshot730705

I feel sorry for Nancy Reagan.

Merv Griffin, Brooke Astor, and Michael Deaver died this past week or so and the former First Lady was friends with all of them.

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