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Elizabeth Saas Archive

Elizabeth Saas

Auntie Bina Says To Stop All the Babyhatin’

July 31st, 2007
by Elizabeth Saas

LOS ANGELES, CA-

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(Bina is what my nephew Shane calls me. It’s his interpretation of B.A., which is what my sister calls me, which is a shortening of Betty Ann, which is what my parents call me because Ann is my middle name and Betty is a nickname for Elizabeth.)


Having recently met my niece, whose five-day-old foot is pictured above, I explained to her that no one truly arrives on the planet until he or she is featured in a TNB story.

She stared at me blankly, and my sister, who knows a lot more about these things than I do, said, “All she really cares about right now is eating.”

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Elizabeth Saas

The Only Thing Permanent, Change: Accept and Interpret It

April 2nd, 2007
by Elizabeth Saas

LOS ANGELES, CA-

One of my first TNB pieces was about magical thinking.

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Well, I’m thinking about it again.

Or perhaps more properly, I’m magical thinking again.

Though my faith in the power of Focus water remains (even in the face of hard evidence to the contrary, but that’s what faith is, right?) unshakable, today’s magical thinking episode was brought to me by this:

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Elizabeth Saas

This Saturday? Polishing My List of Hard-to-Verify Excuses…I Mean, Helping My Neighbor. Why Do You Ask?

March 1st, 2007
by Elizabeth Saas

LOS ANGELES, CA-

Meet Richard: raconteur, bon vivant, social philosopher.

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He also taught me how to dive through waves in Malibu.

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Elizabeth Saas

Happy the Tooth Says It’s Time to Start Talking Endlessly About How It’s Going to be Time to Vote

February 12th, 2007
by Elizabeth Saas

LOS ANGELES, CA-

So apparently it’s game on with respect to the 2008 Presidential race.

Time for hopefuls to begin distinguishing themselves from the pack.

Time to announce their candidacy.

And I am awash in feelings similar to those provoked by the presence of Christmas decor in stores before we’ve even had time to lie to ourselves about how we should get Halloween candy because maybe a kid will stop by — who knows?

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Elizabeth Saas

Shopping For People Sounded Funny, But In Reality, It Presented a Variety of Ethical Issues….Plus, I Really Hate Shopping

September 15th, 2006
by Elizabeth Saas

LOS ANGELES, CA-

This is my metaphor for the literary submission process:

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Whether I send something out via e-mail or real mail, I might as well be stuffing it into a bottle and casting it out into the sea.

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Elizabeth Saas

Is Happiness So Easy To Come By That We Should Eradicate It For the Sake of Efficiency?

September 4th, 2006
by Elizabeth Saas

LOS ANGELES, CA-

There was a cockblocking tonight at a Los Angeles Whole Foods Market.

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At approximately 8:00 p.m., a sandy-haired young male professional — or at least, young male in khakis and unwrinkled top — plied his rap on a young check-out girl.

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