SARDINIA, ITALY-

This month’s instalment from me has been drafted whilst on the toilet. There’s a reason for this, and the reason is the self-centredness of certain artistic types I know. Most people, when afflicted with the vomiting virus, particularly once it has struck down most of their family and friends, will tend to stay in until the storm wanes. Not artists, though. Artists cheerfully turn up at your front door, kiss you full on the lips, offer you a swig of their bottle of rum and then spend the whole night insisting on games of poker, only occasionally interrupted by hurried forays into the bathroom – emerging pale and trembling. Only then do they tell you:

“Wow, it’s amazing, I’ve been vomiting and crapping myself silly for the last twenty-four hours, and so has my brother, mother, second cousin and nephew. I wonder, could there be something going round?”

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TNB TV 
The Coen Brothers talk about adapting Cormac McCarthy’s ‘No Country for Old Men.’

Margaret Atwood 
Canadian author. Daughter of an entomologist and a dietitian.

CHICAGO, IL-

Recently Lenore and Kim were commenting, in a delightfully snarky way, on how many lame internet dating guys claim they love reading by citing The Kite Runner as their favorite book.  Lenore and Kim both went on–being apparently nice, reasonable people–to say how they have nothing against the Kite Runner per se, great book, yadda yadda, it’s just . . . 

I hate The Kite Runner.  I could go on and on about why, but you don’t care why.  (If you do, please comment cause I love talking about why.)  The point is, if there’s a book out there that touches everyone’s heart, I tend to think it’s drivel.  Not because I’m a poser, or at least I don’t think that’s why.  I’m not trying to pose, and I liked that guy’s other book, the Thousand Splendid Suns one.  I hated The Lovely Bones but I loved Sebold’s memoir Lucky.  Etc.

Still, I got to thinking.

Have you ever wondered if maybe you might actually be . . . you know, kind of an Asshole? (more…)

PORTLAND, ME-

Looking in the mirror every morning requires a lot of courage lately. My latest eczema flare-up is attacking my face, turning it into scabs, raw meat, red bumps, flakes of dead skin.

I pack my face with a heavy moisturizer every night before bed, sleep on my back so I don’t rub it off, but still, the results are the same every morning: rawness and redness.  I am not generally vain and I know that I am not a great beauty – I have a big, crooked Jewish nose, an aggressive chin, and my left eye is bigger than the right. But the fact that this latest flare-up is on my face is really pissing me off. I could handle it anywhere else on my body – and I have – just not on my face.

(more…)

TNB TV 
Truman Capote talks about his “nonfiction novel” in 1966.

Art Buchwald 
The American humorist was the son of a curtain manufacturer. His mother spent 35 years in a mental hospital.

NEW PALTZ, N.Y. -

In March of 1991, I accompanied my friend Owen to a new student orientation at Wesleyan College. We were both seniors in high school. Politically, he was a progressive (hence Wesleyan), and I was a reluctant Republican (hence Georgetown).

At the orientation proper, a panel of enthusiastic students took questions from the audience. I was wondering about prosaic things like “How do you do your laundry?”, but the first question concerned the watchword of the day, diversity.

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Aravind Adiga 
His debut novel, ‘The White Tiger,’ won the 2008 Man Booker Prize.

TNB TV 
Learn how to write The Great American Novel.

SANTA MONICA, CA-

Lately I’ve been jogging to increase my cardiovascular strength and decrease my girth for the upcoming book tour. The little earbud headphones don’t stay in my ears so I jog with the Bose Noise Reducing headphones. Yes they are a bit awkward and I’ve been told that jogging with them gives me a striking resemblance to Warren from the movie There’s Something about Mary (see above photo). One thing that’s unclear…when jogging on roads and coming to a red light, do you stop and let your heart rate decline…or do you jog in place and keep it going?

A few days ago, I was jogging along my usual path down Montana Avenue to Ocean Avenue. I stopped at a red light and began to jog in place. A car of high school kids pulled up at the light next to me. Due to my headphones, I couldn’t hear them, but I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the kids were speaking to me. Maybe they needed directions? Or maybe they wanted to know if I enjoyed my Bose Noise Reducing Headphones?

While removing the headphones, I heard one of the high school kids in mid-sentence saying, “…loser ever!”

“Excuse me I’m sorry I couldn’t hear you!?” I screamed, out of breath and still jogging in place.

“I said you’re the biggest loser ever!” the high school kid screamed again. (more…)

Donald Barthelme 
The author of ‘City Life’ was born in Philadelphia and raised in Houston, Texas.

TNB TV 
Marjane Satrapi, author of ‘Persepolis.’

LONDON, ENGLAND-

I have far too many ideas in my head.

All fighting to get out, competing for my attention.

This is not a good thing. What I want is clarity, focus; mental definition and stability in a time of personal and global chaos.

You can have too many thoughts. It’s a distraction. I want to write.

I want to write short novels.

Novellas.

I want to be churning out one, two a month.

I want to be finishing a story every fortnight.

I think I need to, to purge the cranial overload.

Trepanning is what the ancient Greeks used, to purge the brain.

It was a physical thing, not a metaphorical mental thing.

Brain damage isn’t caused by the blow; it’s caused by the build up of fluid; the blood, the bile, the miscellaneous brain juice.

(more…)

Paris is Where the 20th Century Was 
Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas, together with their dog.

TNB TV 
Please enjoy this episode of ‘The Comic Book Club.’

SEATTLE, WA-

I’m having the Monday coffee with CP and SK. SK has only a dollar in cash and asks if I can get the rest of his drink.

“Sure,” I say. I pull out a twenty dollar bill. I don’t have anything smaller.

“I’m on the twenty dollar diet,” I say. “I only pay with twenties.” It’s supposed to be a joke but I have no idea where I’m going with it until I notice that CP also has a twenty out and ready.

“See? CP’s doing the same thing. It’s rough out there. We have to burn the small bills just to keep warm.”
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DAEGU, KOREA-

Indeed, it may be “the cabbage you can ravage with the chilli paste taste,” but kimchi isn’t that amazing. I mean, taste is subjective and everything, but can anything really be so awesome that an entire nation of people could be obsessed with it? Even in America people vary their fast-food diets. One day it’s fried chicken and the next it’s hamburgers, and sometimes it’s a pizza. But in Korea, people are so crazy about kimchi that it goes beyond ridiculous. It’s something that has to be experienced to be understood, and I think it’s impossible to exaggerate the love Koreans have for their national dish.

(more…)

TNB TV 
The late great David Foster Wallace reads aloud at San Diego’s Museum of Contemporary Art.

Martha Gellhorn 
One of the greatest war correspondents of the 20th century.