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We are the imagination of ourselves

Archive for March, 2007

Richard Cox

Does Time Really Fly When You’re Having Fun? A Bit of Relativity in Your Daily Life

March 30th, 2007
by Richard Cox


Let’s talk about relativity.

For every observer, things seem slightly different. From a physics point of view, you do not occupy the same location in space as anyone else, and you might be moving at different velocities, and so on.

This is why using astrology for anything other than entertainment seems silly to me. Constellations don’t physically exist. A group of stars that from the Earth seem to form the shape of a bull could in reality be millions of light years apart and share no relationship with each other whatsoever. They only form the shape of a bull from where we’re looking.


Birdie Jaworski

Torn Bits of Paper, Dead Elvis, and a Clove-Mouthed Man Freed My Mind

March 29th, 2007
by Birdie Jaworski


One summer I collected Monarch butterflies and pinned them to an old walnut board in the family barn. I was eleven and chubby with a Dorothy Hamill haircut. My younger sisters and I built endless Mexican
blanket forts in our battered living room and dressed our long-suffering dog in my dad’s blue boxer shorts. My mom decided she couldn’t take one more minute of our endless muggy summer, and
she signed us up for the one-week August hell known as Arts and Crafts camp at the Town Hall.


Claire Bidwell Smith

Breaking Leather: Two Co-Ed Grad Students Go on a Ride-Along with the Inglewood PD

March 29th, 2007
by Claire Bidwell Smith



The Wood = Inglewood

Bump ‘Em Up = Scare someone a little

Break Leather = Pull your gun from your holster

Roll a Code 3 = Turn on the sirens & respond to a call


Jennifer Duffield White

The Toll on a Heart When Mud Season Blossoms into Barbed Wire & You Dream of Naked Toes

March 28th, 2007
by Jennifer Duffield White


Cherry blossoms rage in D.C. tries to give me a gardening report, which incites mild disgust, as we are bouncing between 6-in. snowfalls, 50-degree days, thunderstorms, and 10-degree nights.

It also spurs daydreams of hyacinths emerging from the snow bank, bare toes, dry ground, and naked nights.

It makes me change my Myspace profile to an image of myself and my dog sitting on a remote beach on Middle Saranac Lake.

As though a photo can propel me away from a mud season that leaves me feeling like a lost soul, again.

It reminds me of those dark months between my last college summer job, my Dirty-Dancing summer fling, and the real world - the blankness of that time.


Rebecca Adler

Tips On Running a Marathon and an Interview With Olympic Medalist Marathon Runner Deena Kastor

March 28th, 2007
by Rebecca Adler


“Marathon running is not a sport of vanity.  We chafe, blister and puke—then sign up for the next race.” - Deena Kastor, 2004 Olympic Medalist Marathoner

My first try as a runner was at a 5K back in October.

I was passed by an 89-year-old speed-walker and an eight-year-old girl. (more…)

Kip Tobin

Impersonating Nobel Laureates, At-Large Terrorists, Dead Actors and Presidents; or How I Learned to Start Worrying and Enjoy Rhetoric

March 28th, 2007
by Kip Tobin


Like most expats and/or struggling writers, you take pretty much whatever work comes your way.

I’ve done a lot of trickle down jobs that range from networking computers, translation, travel guide writing and DJing to the obligatory English teaching.

I sometimes call the last one “slingin’ ‘glish” (but never to my students).


Noria Jablonski

Crazy Cat Lady

March 28th, 2007
by Noria Jablonski


I once took a class with Kurt Vonnegut, who told me I’d never make a living as a writer.  He told me I’d always be poor, all writers are poor.

He also told me that a character in one of my stories needed to fall in love with her doctor.  He compared the doctor/patient relationship to the relationships among soldiers in foxholes on the frontlines of battle.  He said he fell in love with his fellow soldiers. (more…)

R Kent

With the Frontrunners Failing to Inspire, France Looks to François Bayrou as a Favorable Alternative in the Race for the Presidency

March 27th, 2007
by R Kent

By R Kent


Sarko v. Ségo.

That’s what we all thought it’d be.

When last I reported in on the upcoming April French presidential election, I said that while there may be a plethora of official candidates out there seeking their place at L’Elysée, the French equivalent of our White House, the choice seemed to be between right-wing candidate and Bush buddy Nicolas Sarkozy and bumbling Socialist candidate Ségolene Royal.

Neither candidate is particularly enticing.

The problem with Ségo is that she doesn’t have much of a record to back up her aspirations, and the Socialist Party seems disorganized and not ready to govern.

No one really likes Sarko, either.

But he leads the polls because he’s been in politics since he was about six years old, so people think that while he’s definitely the devil incarnate, he at least might get things done.

But hold on. (more…)

Steve Dupont

I Wish to Dear God I Could Get This Racist Thing Out of my Head, but It is Kind of Funny

March 26th, 2007
by Steve Dupont



Emphasis on IS.

As in, I’m surprised that I find it so funny.

And, yes, I do hate myself for it.

Which is clearly why I can’t get it out of my head, hating myself being a sort of comfort zone, for those times when I’m sick of loving myself.

My head - not so clear, by the way.


Zoe Brock

Diary of a Fledgling Filmmaker, Part One- Holy Fucking Shit, We’re Making a Movie!!!???!!!

March 26th, 2007
by Zoe Brock


The night is still and the purple scent of wisteria fills my nostrils.

I feel heady, dizzy, drunk on smell.

I’m also drunk on sake and celebratory champagne, but it’s the drooping clusters of flowers that make me nauseous.

I feel sick.

Regurgitated sushi rises in my throat like chunks of phlegm.

Downstairs I hear Alexa, my producer, my partner, my co-director, my co-pilot, my friend, banging around in a seemingly epileptic panic. In the third bedroom our cameraman slumbers, surrounded by just-opened boxes of microphones, booms, batteries, tapes, THE CAMERA, his iPod firmly jammed into each ear to drown out our girlish squeals of excitement and clumsy accidents, providing a loud musical respite from our incessant, schizophrenic, nervous/panicked/emotional/bickering/giggling chatter.



Get a Leg Up on This Year’s Hottest Fashion Trend

March 25th, 2007
by Smibst


It’s a typical night in Doylestown, an artsy, affluent suburb of Philadelphia. Antique shops, coffee houses and art galleries speckle main street, as soccer moms in oversized Hummers make their way towards this evening’s PTA meeting. A group of suburban skate punks meander in the bank parking lot, halfheartedly attempting kick-flips and ollies.


Emma Ashwood

The Man in Our House Was Not My Grandfather After All (Part I)

March 23rd, 2007
by Emma Ashwood


One of the strangest things about life is the way that it rewrites itself. One moment, there you are, with the facts of your existence spread out in front of you, tidy and accessible, like a picnic on a blanket.

Perhaps you look away. And when you look back, everything is different. Rearranged by a glittering train of ants.

It’s a little Alice-In-Wonderland. It’s a little unnerving. It seems to happen all the time. Here’s an example.


Rich Ferguson

Sure It’s Great To Work on a Music Video, But It’s Also Pretty Interesting to Try and Bond With Your Cat While Testing Its Interest in Lame Sex Paraphernalia Bought From a Bathroom Vending Machine

March 22nd, 2007
by Rich Ferguson


First things first

Perhaps some of you might’ve read this title and thought:

“What? Sex paraphernalia? Cat? I hope this guy isn’t into weird kinky shit with his pet!”

Well trust me
It’s not the case at all


N.L. Belardes

Hollywood’s Backyard, the Mighty Kern, chingpea and Deconstructing the Mamao

March 22nd, 2007
by N.L. Belardes


As river systems flow, the Kern River is one of the mightiest in California. A star of films in the early 1900s, John Wayne stepped into its waters to shoot Injuns and fist-fight villains. The river lapped at his feet, sparkled, smiled, shone its teeth, and wore its own watery cloak like a glittery dress. If it could have walked the red carpet in hundreds of premieres starring itself, it surely would have. Fatty Arbuckle, Gene Autry, William Fairbanks, Rin-Tin-Tin, Gabby Hayes, Rex the Wonder Horse—they were all in the Bakersfield area, Hollywood’s backyard, just 150 miles northwest of a big fat Chinese theatre, and digging their claws and hooves into the succulent waters of the Kern. That’s just before it flows into the lands of the Great Central Valley. (more…)

Roy Kesey

Of the Plum Blossom Festival and Some Things That Happened There

March 22nd, 2007
by Roy Kesey


(All photographs by Jeff Cheap, used with grateful thanks.)

Not long ago I was in Nanjing for neither the first nor last time and was invited to participate in the 2007 Nanjing International Plum Blossom Festival. The exact nature of my participatory role was somewhat unclear to me, as such things most often are, but I walked happily up to the festival nonetheless, mainly because I had never seen the plum trees of Plum Blossom Hill in bloom, and had always wanted to. (more…)

Megan Power

Holiday in Reality: Scattered Ruminations on the Contradictory Nature of Human Consciousness

March 21st, 2007
by Megan Power



It’s daunting to write about New York.

I’m daunted.

Everything has been written or said.

Nothing new to say.

It’s Old York.



R Kent

Ne Vous Inquiètez Pas Si Vous Ne Comprenez Pas Ce Gros-Titre; Je Vous Promets Que 97% Des Mots Dans L’Article Seront en Anglais

March 21st, 2007
by R Kent

Par R Kent


For me, speaking French is like writing with my left hand. (more…)

Greg Boose

Igor Anatsko, Just Give Me My Money Already or I’m Going On a Whirlwind PR Tour in an Attempt to Fuck Your Shit Up

March 21st, 2007
by Greg Boose


Igor, your newest email address doesn’t work now.

Sounds about right.

Par for this course you’ve had me playing on for the last six months.

I’m getting the failure notices again.


Lenore Zion

The Negative Effects of Dreams and Daydreams, How They Ruin Our Thoughts and Destroy Our Hope

March 20th, 2007
by Lenore Zion


It’s three in the morning by the time I get to bed. This whole week, it’s three in the morning. Last week, it was more like midnight.

My sleeping schedule is very flexible, but I find more and more that I just adjust it according to what I have in the morning. If I’ve got nothing, I don’t go to bed until I am virtually sleeping already. If I have something early, I go to bed early. It doesn’t matter if I slept until two in the afternoon, I can go to bed again at ten at night if I want to.


Rebecca Adler

Introducing Ideal Bite: Say Goodbye to Eco-Nazis and Hello to Green Lite

March 19th, 2007
by Rebecca Adler


For awhile I thought of myself as an environmentalist of sorts.

I mean, I’m not some crazy hippie, living in a co-op, wearing only hemp clothing and eating nothing but vegetables from my own garden.

But I do the basic save the Earth type stuff. I drive as little as possible. I recycle. I eat less red meat. I take cloth bags to the grocery store. I give to Goodwill instead of adding to landfills. I turn off the water when I brush my teeth. You know, the little things. (more…)