MADRID-

Her first name was Kim.

The license plate on her car read RUSH 47.

Her last name can’t be recalled.

She listened to Rush way too much, so that part of the plate merited no query.

But the 47, that piqued my interest. (more…)

SARANAC LAKE, NY-

My job takes me to places like Ecuador and Holland to write about flowers.

I also end up in lots of concrete convention centers and in greenhouses tucked back on roads without proper signage.

Last week, it was a conference on pests and diseases of flowers—the kind where you view tables of researchresults, learn which new chemicals and “good bugs” will knock them down, how zoospores thrive, how slugs mate, and which tospoviruses affect petunias.

(more…)

AUSTIN, TX-

The capital prides itself, even more than on being the “Live Music Capital of the World” and home of the Longhorns, as the best spot for emo boys, urban cougars ,football players and lipstick lesbians to drink together in harmony.

(more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA-

I humiliate myself just about everywhere I go.

It’s sort of my thing. Unintentionally and unfortunately.

(more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA-

Like most people my trajectory through life has been filled with tests and lessons.

If school prepared me for anything it certainly wasn’t a career, but an ability to recognize when I was about to be graded.

Returning to LA was a test on both my relationship and my ability to be loved and reciprocate love.

I failed.

The first week was blissful and sweet. We met each others friends and took each other to our favorite places. We nuzzled and fondled and pulled the car over to the side of the road to have panic-stricken emergency sex on the side of Santa Monica Boulevard.

(more…)

PARIS-

Certain French stereotypes refuse to die.

For example: they all love Jerry Lewis.

(French people under the age of 60 have no idea who he is.)

Mimes everywhere.

(France has been relatively mime-free for at least 20 years.)

The men all wear berets.

(You’ll see a hundred New York Yankees caps here before you see a man wearing a beret.)

One more: wherever you go, Edith Piaf’s hauntingly beautiful ‘La Vie en Rose’ plays in the background.

The quintessential French ballad, which translates roughly as ‘My Life in Pink’, that Piaf wrote in 1945 may not be as ubiquitous as it was in post-war France, but thanks to a new film about her life, that song and others to which she gave life have seen a popular resurgence.

Olivier Dahan’s La Môme, starring Marion Cotillard as Piaf, is a much-anticipated love song to the legendary songstress. (more…)

AUVERGNE, FR-

A friend of mine told me a story the other day.

She had been on vacation in Italy. Her family were having dinner at a restaurant and a wedding reception was being held in another room.

When she went to powder her nose, she discovered the bride taking a break from the festivities to breastfeed her child in the bathroom. She was shocked.

I was not. Ah Europe.

(more…)

SANDY, UT-

The other morning, our phone rang at 6:01 am.

I know it was 6:01 because I was very busy ignoring the alarm.

Afraid of some phoned-in disaster, however, I leapt up to answer the phone when it rang.

“Hello,” I said.

And then, “Hello? Hello? Hello?”

Finally the woman at the other end said, “Is this Joanne?”

“No,” I said.

“Yes it is!” she said.

(more…)

SAN DIEGO, CA-

Following our trek to the beach (by now stale news) I took Martyn to Shakespeare Pub & Grill.

There’s some question as to whether there’s an “apostrophe s” at the end of Shakespeare and the web page has it both ways.

(more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA-

(Note: Here, Dukkha refers to the Buddhist concept of Suffering, not to the middle-eastern/Egyptian condiment)

Start movie
Roll opening credits
Over shots of surgery scene
Draped body
Incision into chest
Beating heart

(more…)

SYRACUSE, UT-

I’ve been in Utah for a week now.

It’s been a week of good clean fun with my younger sister, Jess.

(Jess works at a bowling alley)

Country dancing, rock climbing, running, bowling, visiting art museums and watching strange plays have all been on the menu for the past six days.

But now I’m at my parents’ house. (more…)

CHICAGO, IL -

I’ve never tried to grow a moustache before.

Never wanted to.

Never.

Until now.

(more…)

By R Kent

PARIS-

One’s a cold-hearted Machiavellian, hell-bent on the presidency, no matter the price.

The other’s the would-be princess, with the Royal name to boot.

It’s the Sarko and Ségo show here in France, and for the next couple months it will be playing around the clock.

But while they may hold the presidential pole position, they aren’t the only candidates. (more…)

TULSA, OK-

Trust is an elusive thing.

It’s hard to know when to let down your guard with someone, to let them see who you really are. And when you’re hurt or betrayed by someone you love, it becomes that much harder to open up to someone else.

But what, exactly, defines betrayal?

(more…)

THE DEEP SOUTH-

They say that love is stronger than death but I’ve seen death kick some ass.

Or maybe life.

Maybe what people are more afraid of than dying is living.

Maybe both.

(more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA-

As I sit here, intent on typing the third installment (now long overdue and angrily demanded) of this sorry tale, a song begins to shuffle and shimmy out of my speakers…

The song is ‘Do Right Woman’ by Aretha.

Oh, the precious, delightful irony (and another bit of proof to back up my theory that iPods on ’shuffle’ are actually a direct line from God).

God has a sick sense of humor, but we knew that already.

Anyway, where were we?

That’s easy, we were here….

THE COLE FIASCO. PART 3-

The humidity was dense and suffocating. From the moment we debarked the plane the air began molesting us with sticky fingers.

It was hot.

It was wet.

It was like trying to walk through sex.

I loved it.

(more…)

SANDY, UT-

Recently, I had a dream in which I beat up my grandmother.

Well, “beat up” is perhaps too strong a phrase. Maybe “roughed up” is more accurate.

The basic plot of the dream had me in a room with some people. My grandmother kept coming to the door, even though we’d asked her not to, because we were in the middle of something urgent. But then the bell would ring again and there my grandmother would be, staring in at everyone with her patented Grandmother Guilt Glare.

Finally the bell rang one time too many for my mean old dream self. I stalked over to the door and yanked it open. “What do you want?” I cried, and when she didn’t answer, I picked her up and flung her across the hall.

(more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA-

We’re all aware of Stonehenge
That world-renown icon, symbolizing power, mystery, and endurance

And while most historians agree

That it was most likely built in the Neolithic Period between 2500 and 2000 BC

To this day there are still conflicting stories
As to who exactly constructed the monument

(more…)

LOS ANGELES, CA-

We’re all aware of Stonehenge

That world-renown icon, symbolizing power, mystery, and endurance

(more…)

SEATTLE, WA-

I am the father of a seven year old little girl.

As would any rational parent, I believe - without a doubt - that my daughter is by far the most beautiful, smartest and most lovable child to have ever inhabited this undeserving earth.

And who could deny me my pride?

(more…)